Author Introductions: Zoltan Cadet

Name: “Zoltan Cadet”

Defining Characteristic: Dude who is batshit insane

It’s hard growing up poor, not to mention 23,815 light years from home. As a young mantis, I recall the gentle, soothing whir of yellow just outside our summer elevator. While our transition to human form was relatively dilapidated and fat-free, the visions of nefarious toasters have not completely disappeared from my night visions. A few thousand centuries later. the omnipresent government-controlled doctors have all had their say. Toothbrush, australopithecine, incendiary pigs, and so on…

(editor's note: Zoltan Cadet is one of many fake names I made up for myself by the age of 8)